Saturday, August 6, 2011
So I was frustrated yesterday...
After the days & days of fasting, praying & hearing NOTHING, I asked God, kinda angrily, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME"? It was an immediate extremely loud & clear answer, "Be Still."
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thy Will...
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better...
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Asleep in the Light
Do you see, do you see, all the people sinking down. Don't you care?Don’t you care? Are you gonna let them drown? How can you be so numb, not to care if they come? You close your eyes and pretend the job's done!
"Oh bless me Lord, bless me Lord" You know it's all I ever hear. No one aches, no one hurts, no one even sheds one tear. But He cries, He weeps, He bleeds, and He cares for your needs and you just lay back, and keep soaking it in,Oh, can't you see it's such a sin?
Cause He brings people to your door, and you turn them away as you smile and say, "God bless you, be at peace" and all heaven just weeps, cause Jesus came to your door and you've left Him out on the streets
Open up, open up, and give yourself away. You see the need, you hear the cries, so how can you delay? God's calling and you're the one, but like Jonah you run. He's told you to speak but you keep holding it in, oh can't you see it's such a sin?
The world is sleeping in the dark, that the church just can't fight, cause it's asleep in the light. How can you be so dead, when you've been so well fed Jesus rose from the grave and you, you can't even get out of bed! Oh, Jesus rose from the dead, Come on, get out of your bed!
How can you be so numb? Not to care if they come, you close your eyes and pretend the job's done! You close your eyes, and pretend the job's done.
Don't close your eyes! Don't pretend the jobs done! Come away, come away, come away with Me my love,
Come away, from this mess, come away with Me, my love.
"Oh bless me Lord, bless me Lord" You know it's all I ever hear. No one aches, no one hurts, no one even sheds one tear. But He cries, He weeps, He bleeds, and He cares for your needs and you just lay back, and keep soaking it in,Oh, can't you see it's such a sin?
Cause He brings people to your door, and you turn them away as you smile and say, "God bless you, be at peace" and all heaven just weeps, cause Jesus came to your door and you've left Him out on the streets
Open up, open up, and give yourself away. You see the need, you hear the cries, so how can you delay? God's calling and you're the one, but like Jonah you run. He's told you to speak but you keep holding it in, oh can't you see it's such a sin?
The world is sleeping in the dark, that the church just can't fight, cause it's asleep in the light. How can you be so dead, when you've been so well fed Jesus rose from the grave and you, you can't even get out of bed! Oh, Jesus rose from the dead, Come on, get out of your bed!
How can you be so numb? Not to care if they come, you close your eyes and pretend the job's done! You close your eyes, and pretend the job's done.
Don't close your eyes! Don't pretend the jobs done! Come away, come away, come away with Me my love,
Come away, from this mess, come away with Me, my love.
By: Keith Green
My heart breaks
Today there are 1,015 Unengaged, Unreached People Groups with populations of more than 50,000 who are still beyond the reach of the gospel of Jesus Christ. These nearly 700,000,000 people are spiritually lost and helpless. Unengaged means that absolutely no Church, no Mission Agency, NOONE has taken responsibility to tell them about Jesus!
HOW?! I don't understand!!! Technology is everywhere. If not for these unreached people then definitely for us who sit in our climate controlled four walls & sit on the internet while we watch TV & text our friends while munching on food that we're really not hungry for but we're bored....REALLY!?!? REALLY?!?!
I don't want that life anymore. I don't want to close my eyes & pretend the job is done! I want to step out of the comfort zone (o.k. not so much outa the comfort zone) BUT I do want to reach these people! If that means stepping away from the comfort then it looks like that's what I will need to do! I don't know how I'm going to get there, or what God is going to want from me, but I am ready! I'm ready to step up to the task!
Please continue in prayer that I hear clearly from Him what direction to take!
HOW?! I don't understand!!! Technology is everywhere. If not for these unreached people then definitely for us who sit in our climate controlled four walls & sit on the internet while we watch TV & text our friends while munching on food that we're really not hungry for but we're bored....REALLY!?!? REALLY?!?!
I don't want that life anymore. I don't want to close my eyes & pretend the job is done! I want to step out of the comfort zone (o.k. not so much outa the comfort zone) BUT I do want to reach these people! If that means stepping away from the comfort then it looks like that's what I will need to do! I don't know how I'm going to get there, or what God is going to want from me, but I am ready! I'm ready to step up to the task!
Please continue in prayer that I hear clearly from Him what direction to take!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Fear creeping in. . .
So, it's started. The fear, the questioning. I LOVE my job! I have so many members that I know & love, both kids & adults! I even love my co-workers (even though a bunch of them are leaving soon!) I'm not getting rich, barely scraping by in fact, but I'm happy, content even. That's when the RED light flashes. I was also "content" in property management. It took God ripping that away from me & 2 years of unemployment to pay attention to the wake-up call (or 2x4 upside the head). I know God wants His best for me, but I'm seriously scared...I'm getting too old for all the moving, job hunting AGAIN?!!? I don't even have the money to make the move! I want to be in His will and claiming His best for me.
One of my Heros', Loren Cunningham writes in his book "Is that Really You, God?" about a YWAM Staffer that had strayed saying that "He knew too much of God & had experienced too much of Him ever to live in mediocrity." That simple statement hit me so hard the other day. When have I been truly happy? (I mean w/o the happy pills, lol) When I was in Russia, even almost dying in Boliva....at CFNI. Where was all that?! Under the UMBRELLA!
I'm reading another AWESOME book by Loren Cunningham, "Making Jesus Lord." Doesn't that seem like such a simple statement? Well it goes into detail about all that God wants to give you if only you take the first step ... to give up your rights to your possessions before God can meet our needs. This could mean so many different things to so many people. It could mean putting an extra $5 in the offering plate one Sunday, it could mean making a meal for someone in need, it could mean getting rid of EVERYTHING like the disciples to follow Jesus, go on the mission field, make a move, a change....etc.
As I sit here trying to wrap my head around what I believe God wants of me, things have begun happening to shake me a bit. I know it's the Devil trying to make me stray again! I'm clinging to His promises to me, Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer & supplication w/ thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6 Anyone that has known me awhile knows that I like to plan ahead, have my ducks in a row. I have given my notice at my apartment. I have begun packing. I have begun apartment hunting in Oklahoma. I HAVE NO MONEY!!!
At this point I guess all I can do is pray & all I can say is, "O.K. God, am I hearing You right?! Am I doing what You want?! How are You going to use this to minister to others, as well as myself?!"
Patiently waiting for a word & a miracle.
One of my Heros', Loren Cunningham writes in his book "Is that Really You, God?" about a YWAM Staffer that had strayed saying that "He knew too much of God & had experienced too much of Him ever to live in mediocrity." That simple statement hit me so hard the other day. When have I been truly happy? (I mean w/o the happy pills, lol) When I was in Russia, even almost dying in Boliva....at CFNI. Where was all that?! Under the UMBRELLA!
I'm reading another AWESOME book by Loren Cunningham, "Making Jesus Lord." Doesn't that seem like such a simple statement? Well it goes into detail about all that God wants to give you if only you take the first step ... to give up your rights to your possessions before God can meet our needs. This could mean so many different things to so many people. It could mean putting an extra $5 in the offering plate one Sunday, it could mean making a meal for someone in need, it could mean getting rid of EVERYTHING like the disciples to follow Jesus, go on the mission field, make a move, a change....etc.
As I sit here trying to wrap my head around what I believe God wants of me, things have begun happening to shake me a bit. I know it's the Devil trying to make me stray again! I'm clinging to His promises to me, Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer & supplication w/ thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6 Anyone that has known me awhile knows that I like to plan ahead, have my ducks in a row. I have given my notice at my apartment. I have begun packing. I have begun apartment hunting in Oklahoma. I HAVE NO MONEY!!!
At this point I guess all I can do is pray & all I can say is, "O.K. God, am I hearing You right?! Am I doing what You want?! How are You going to use this to minister to others, as well as myself?!"
Patiently waiting for a word & a miracle.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Noise
Have you noticed how noisy our world has become?! It's a constant never ending barrage of NOISE!! TV, Radio, Traffic, Telephones, Computers, People, etc. How are we supposed to hear God through all that?! Granted when you are running you try to avoid hearing God speak, however He'll use little things to get through that wall you've put up. Hiding in your comfort zone of noise, blocking out what you know He wants to say but you don't want to hear....
The trick now I guess is how do we turn that noise OFF when we WANT to hear from Him?! How & where do we find the MUTE button or better yet the OFF button?! Do we withdraw from people?! Responsibilities?! Do we fast?! Since not a lot of us have the luxury of going into seclusion, what about fasting?! What does fasting actually mean in this day & age?! Do we give up food altogether?! Or do we give up solid food & live on a liquid (smoothie?) diet?! Or do we put nothing except water into our bodies?! Or does fasting mean something else?! How about fasting television?! Or radio?! Or even Internet!?
As I come back to where God wants me, I absolutely adore this quote from Loren Cunninghams book, "Is That Really You God?" The Lord spoke to one of his YWAM staffers that had strayed.....He said "The price you have to pay to follow Me is far less than the price you'll have to pay not to follow Me."
As I think of all the years I wasted doing my own thing & struggling, making not only myself but my family miserable, I want to cry. The price that I have paid & therefore my family has had to pay was extremely high. If I need to sacrifice just one day of eating or TV to hear God, I know the rewards will be amazing! He has promised that! He promised that if I give up my life for Him I will save it! (Mark 8:34)
Several exciting opportunities have begun to come across my path & I want to be sure that I do what He wants me to do not what Vicki wants to do. I daily, hourly, momentarily have to remember to die to myself quiet the noise & listen. Please pray that I hear what I'm supposed to.
The trick now I guess is how do we turn that noise OFF when we WANT to hear from Him?! How & where do we find the MUTE button or better yet the OFF button?! Do we withdraw from people?! Responsibilities?! Do we fast?! Since not a lot of us have the luxury of going into seclusion, what about fasting?! What does fasting actually mean in this day & age?! Do we give up food altogether?! Or do we give up solid food & live on a liquid (smoothie?) diet?! Or do we put nothing except water into our bodies?! Or does fasting mean something else?! How about fasting television?! Or radio?! Or even Internet!?
As I come back to where God wants me, I absolutely adore this quote from Loren Cunninghams book, "Is That Really You God?" The Lord spoke to one of his YWAM staffers that had strayed.....He said "The price you have to pay to follow Me is far less than the price you'll have to pay not to follow Me."
As I think of all the years I wasted doing my own thing & struggling, making not only myself but my family miserable, I want to cry. The price that I have paid & therefore my family has had to pay was extremely high. If I need to sacrifice just one day of eating or TV to hear God, I know the rewards will be amazing! He has promised that! He promised that if I give up my life for Him I will save it! (Mark 8:34)
Several exciting opportunities have begun to come across my path & I want to be sure that I do what He wants me to do not what Vicki wants to do. I daily, hourly, momentarily have to remember to die to myself quiet the noise & listen. Please pray that I hear what I'm supposed to.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Hearing God
So here I sit, FINALLY wanting to do what God wants me to do, yet I know my faith is not as strong as it once was! I'm taking such a HUGE & SCARY step here, I just wish I could clearly hear confirmation in this step. I know God does miracles every single day, but after the way I've treated Him & run from Him for so long, it's just so hard to see it all come to pass through the fog.
I'm trying so hard not to limit God, but the rational part of me is starting to stress & think....is this me yet again taking the wheel or is this truly God saying "Go".
I am currently rereading some of my YWAM books like, "Is That Really You, God?" and I just feel like WOW, such faithful, loyal workers. It encourages me & it saddens me....could I ever have that kind of obedience & faith?! I have failed at so much in my life, I don't want to mess up again.
As I go to sleep tonight, I pray for solid unmistakable confirmation in this next step, for an unwavering faith, for peace in my spirit, for Satan to back off b/c I'm covered by the blood of Jesus & following him!!!! As you read this please just pray for me for the above and whatever else God would bring to mind!
Much love & peace!
I'm trying so hard not to limit God, but the rational part of me is starting to stress & think....is this me yet again taking the wheel or is this truly God saying "Go".
I am currently rereading some of my YWAM books like, "Is That Really You, God?" and I just feel like WOW, such faithful, loyal workers. It encourages me & it saddens me....could I ever have that kind of obedience & faith?! I have failed at so much in my life, I don't want to mess up again.
As I go to sleep tonight, I pray for solid unmistakable confirmation in this next step, for an unwavering faith, for peace in my spirit, for Satan to back off b/c I'm covered by the blood of Jesus & following him!!!! As you read this please just pray for me for the above and whatever else God would bring to mind!
Much love & peace!
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